Have the courage to say 'no' to your children

Train your children to digest disappointments, denials and refusals.

 

Modern life is not only competitive but also stressful in many aspects. Children have to gradually adapt themselves to this demanding environment at some point of time. This is exactly why parents need to train their young ones accordingly. Children must be taught to take a `no', not only from parents but also friends, teachers, neighbours and even strangers.

 

Discipline begins at home

 

Some parents tend to pamper children unreasonably. Abundance of anything, ranging from toys, games, sweets and chocolates, spoils children at a very young age. In fact, research has shown that children brought up in over-affluent families tend to lose their faculty of imagination. Since they have too much on their platter, it becomes difficult for them to yearn for anything. Therefore, parents should not bombard their children with more than what is needed. The need for this inherent discipline has to be internalized by parents themselves. Parents should be prepared to prepare their children for the rough and the smooth in life.
 

Never satisfy all demands 

 

Although parents derive immense satisfaction from fulfilling their children's wishes, they should deliberately leave some wishes unfulfilled. If every whim and fancy of the child is entertained, the child grows up to be a very self-centered person. Even a single `no' can put him or her off balance. Such children take their whims to an illogical extent. For instance, if they fancy a person who does not reciprocate their feelings, they may get violent out of frustration. Or they might not be able to digest rejection in a job interview later in life. Over pampered children are also prone to acute depression mainly because they cannot take disappointments in the right spirit.
 

Never encourage comparisons

 

Parents should always discourage their child's tendency to compare his or her material assets with other children. For instance, if a child demands a toy merely because a neighbour has got a new one, such a craving should not be entertained. Such children end up constantly comparing themselves with other people. Parents have to curb this tendency at a very early stage.

 

Appeasement does not have long-term effect

 

In order to keep their daily routine hassle-free, parents tend to please children. However, overt appeasement has short-term gains. Children tend to lose respect for their parents. They look upon parents as mere scarecrows. The policy does not pay in the long run. Therefore parents should not enter into a popularity contest. They must have the courage to call a spade a spade. 
   

 

Some parents tend to please children out of guilt. For instance, a working mother comes home late. She is harried. She does not have time for attending to the child's homework. The child asks for an ice cream after dinner. Despite knowing the fact that an ice cream can cause a bad throat, the mother gives in. The child is smart enough to know the reason behind the bribe/favour. This scenario is universally applicable. Therefore, parents should not let guilt get the better of them. They must have the courage to face the child's tantrums.